The dubious benefits of enduring a nasty case of food poisoning hours before entertaining 50 guests at your house for a New Year’s Eve party
- You gain a new and unabashed appreciation for washed vegetables from clean restaurants, and towel racks that break away from the walls of your bathroom as you tumble toward the toilet.
- You learn that watching an uncut TV airing of The Exorcist is not a good way to stem an unrelenting tide of nausea.
- You are luckily able to find great friends that help you recover and ready your house for the party, despite your various ineptitudes.
- You find more great friends at your party whose honesty forces them to admit that, “you look a little rough tonight.”
- After 36 hours of ingesting only Gatorade and soda water, cocktails are resoundingly successful intoxicants.