Welcome to 2007, Alex
The dubious benefits of enduring a nasty case of food poisoning hours before entertaining 50 guests at your house for a New Year’s Eve party
- You gain a new and unabashed appreciation for washed vegetables from clean restaurants, and towel racks that break away from the walls of your bathroom as you tumble toward the toilet.
- You learn that watching an uncut TV airing of The Exorcist is not a good way to stem an unrelenting tide of nausea.
- You are luckily able to find great friends that help you recover and ready your house for the party, despite your various ineptitudes.
- You find more great friends at your party whose honesty forces them to admit that, “you look a little rough tonight.”
- After 36 hours of ingesting only Gatorade and soda water, cocktails are resoundingly successful intoxicants.
This is truly a great story of alcoholic passion and perseverence. But what did you think was going to happen after you ate out of that sushi dumpster behind your house? Also, serves you right for trying to eat vegetables. Clearly the meat gods frown upon that kind of activity.
Shockingly, the poisoning wasn’t from sushi. I’ll not divulge the restaurant in a public forum such as this, though out of spite I am very tempted.
If you know where I live and where I get my Bloody Mary specials, you can probably figure it out!
For everyone that did not make it until the early morning hours of January 1st…”Blood does not smell”